6.19.2016

Journal, April 16, 1976 AM

The old romance is at a critical stage right this minute, another crisis. God I’m sick of crises! <Last night she {Sofia} told me ominously to go home, & think about what I was going to do with her.> It seems she’s got it in her head now that we should be married in November with Pilar & Jaime. She whimpered about losing her best friend & her fella both at the same time. I felt like saying, “Life is tough all over!” Sometimes when she comes on with her spoiled little girl act I just can’t take it.

She’s scared to death I’ll forget her when I get back to Wisconsin, & she also has doubts about her ability to adjust to being without her family, friends - possibly without countrymen. No question it’s goin’ to be tough. It was one of the first things I said when she took the initiative to get this thing started. But there are long range advantages if she’s willing to endure, & work at it.

I can smooth her entry into the culture if I’m already established there. I can seek out, & make contact with Latin student organizations & Spanish House. I can start growing Costarican varieties of beans. I can have us a place, & me a job which will permit me to study at least part-time, whatever she decides to do. I’m just not willing to take her back to nothing, & be forced to latch onto the first place & job I can, and probably defer the studies. I’ve told her over & over but either it doesn’t register or she’s starting to realize for the first time what life she’ll be getting herself into! I hope it’s the former, but maybe she is just another soul that is too attached to break the ties, and discover the world beyond.

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