Journal, August 17, 1976 PM

It just began to rain, sounds like quite a storm. Unfortunately my beans will not benefit from the rain. I dug them up and threw away the dirtin the pots when it dawned on me what the powder I had gotten from Steve Pamperin, and used as soil insecticide really was. Atrazine, I remembered the smell from when Dad used to mix it up to spray on the corn. I have followed in the illustrious footsteps of Harry Brokish, who put a pound of atrazine on the area in front of the Delta Theta Sigma Fraternity house in Madison, and killed even the quackgrass for over 5 years. Harry is the one who left Steve this atrazine, too, in an unmarked piece of paper!

The beans had sprouted, at least 80% of them, so perhaps they would have grown, I’ll never know. I think the atrazine would eventually have killed them. Or at least stunted them so as to make them unthrifty. Tomorrow I’ll try again.

I went on a buying spree today, bought new shoes, a carrying bag, a Honduras hat and a giant towel. The shoes were 13.75 Colones, less than $6 for work oxfords, and they are real leather. The hat is for Jan; I promised her one when she was here.

Work is slow, but Sartre made some good points today: “Thus the best way to conceive of the fundamental project of human reality is to say that man is the being whose project is to be God.” That falls in line with my idea that man has created God and the myths surrounding him. God is the ideal of our consciousness - complete freedom and complete power. He is his own creator (reason for being) which we aren’t.

Sartre goes on to propose the possibility of an existential psychoanalysis, which he sees as more useful than empirical psychoanalysis of the type Freud pioneered. I like his approach. I find myself agreeing more & more with his perspective on things. I’m anxious to see where his approach leads him in the social sphere.

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