1.24.2016

Journal, March 12, 1976 PM

Today we went to El Maizal in the hope of finding some newborn rabbits - no such luck. So we split early and spent a long afternoon at the rancho {beach house}. I spent a good deal of time just laying in the hammock thinking. I speculated on the outline of a treatise on religion, centered on the idea that man created God in his image, to serve his needs. <I also decided to look into getting a job on a ship for 6 months to make a some money - how much a little money might simplify things between Sofia & me!>

I worked 8 physics problems, & then Jan & I went to the beach to wait for the sunset. It’s her last day in MetalĂ­o, probably forever. <I read over a paragraph of philosophy Sofia gave me as we walked.> All about how to live your life in peace and serenity. The man who can follow that advice will be a saint (not the author, but any man who really follows it all)! It’s very deep & there is much truth in it. I must remember to thank her for giving it to me. Like some of her letters I’ve reread, I found much more in it on the second reading. She thinks deeply about life, more deeply than I sometimes give her credit for doing. I always seem to end up loving her as a person, and wanting her companionship more after the second reading. A longing for the time we won’t have to write letters & be lonely is what I feel this minute. I’ve been sitting here groping for the exact verbalization of my state and the old term "longing" comes goll-darned close.

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