Journal, February 14, 1976 PM

It’s the second night in Kikilita & I’m alone. Jay went to Sonsonate to work on his solar-powered hot air balloon with Conrad. They hope to make the first test flight tomorrow. I’m reading “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. It gets heavy into the day to day insanity of the routine in a mental hospital, or in life for that matter. You just can’t let anyone puncture your self-confidence, or they’ll have you controlled - make a robot of you. Self doubt can make worms of us all!

I made yogurt today, but it isn’t real thick yet, so I’ll give it another day in the Sun. Joe’s turned out both times on the second day. The goats filled two bottles today (one apiece) & I sold the other to Don Tin.

The girls from El Maizal’s “grupo juvenil {children’s group}” had me going this morning saying it was “Dia de Los Enamorados {literally Lovers’ Day}”, and didn’t I send something to my “novia {girlfriend}”? Then it hit me (or Jay pointed it out) that it’s Valentine’s Day. <I already wished Sofia a happy Valentine’s Day twice, so I’m covered!>

We rapped with Mrs. Angelina Castro de Hernandez, the owner of our new place, this afternoon, and she agreed to get us keys made for our door, & to pay for materials if we screen in the place. So we’re pleased, & she seems pleased, & all is well back at the ranch.

<I was considering earlier in the evening, the implications of the fact that I can no longer scare up an image of Sofia in my mind.> Events I can remember of course, but a mental picture of her face, no. Maybe that’s why the invention of photography was so popular. But it’s really no substitute. Movement is what gives a face character. At best, the camera catches one mood. When you pose you can lose that! Anyway, it’s tough to be in love with a memory of an image. Really, it’s more like I remember that I couldn’t get enough of her when I was with her, so unless my brain was on vacation, she had something special about her that I got to go back and check out again!

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