Journal, March 21, 1976 AM (Sunday)

It’s 10 AM and I’m just getting around to writing. I’m on the bus headed for San Ignacio and then the border with Guatemala. The cement boat wasn’t due back for a week or 10 days, the manager said, so I couldn’t make it - no money to wait that long.

I said good-by to Jan this morning at 7. It’ll be August or else December before I see her. I hope she can make it down to Costa Rica (rather than Belize), but she sounds more tentative & doubtful now than she did when we were down there. I guess she’ll have to get back and see how she readjusts to her present situation before she decides if she really thinks it will be worth the hard work & selfsacrifice it will mean. It sure was pleasant having Jan around. I feel reassured about the sanity of my own life plans after conversing intimately with her for a month.

A forgotten travel note: We have seen many British soldiers in Belize - especially those off-duty in Belize City. The most interesting of them was at the Mayan ruins with Rudolf. As we neared the top of the highest ruin, here were 2 short-haired, baby-faced young men in civilian clothes, but cooking their food up in army type field mess equipment, and with an assorted collection of field glasses & telescopes laying around. Rudolf caught on immediately and said, “British checking on Guatemalan troop movements, hey?” It took me until I saw all the British in Belize City to assure myself he was right.

<I got to get a letter from Sofia soon.> It’s been much too long without contact. I start to think evil thoughts, like it really wouldn’t hurt her if I had sex with another woman. Really, objectively, that’s true, but she couldn’t take knowing about it, & I would feel very evil & advantage-taking keeping it from her.

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