Journal, April 7, 1976 PM (Wednesday)

I’m ready. I not only am all packed for my trip to Costa Rica, I have already locked the suitcase, & laid out my clothes for tomorrow. <I had the suitcase all closed once & remembered that I hadn’t put the pictures from Christmas in - after I gave Sofia permission to kill me if I forgot them!>

It was not an eventful day. I put in my morning appearance at El Maizal, ate some frozen jocotes and 2 ripe mangos. I reminded the agrónomo {agricultural extensionist} that we need to start selling rabbits, again. We have 87 rabbits, Aristides & I calculated. There will be more tomorrow as one female rabbit is due, & pulling fur from her chest!

I planned to play some softball in the afternoon with the Plan Basico {Basic Plan} girls. I put on my running trunks, muscle shirt, tennies and baseball cap (it was un-Godly hot!), and rode down to the school on my bike, but they didn’t show. It’s not the first time that teacher has told me there would be practice such & such a day, and then skipped out! I consoled myself by going swimming and running on the beach.

I experienced guilt feelings for doing absolutely nothing Peace Corps “mission” related all afternoon, but really there was nothing for me to do at El Maizal. I hustled & did it all in the morning. I won’t be completely content as long as I’m in a flunky job like this though. I’ve got to do something which furthers my search for answers about life & the universe. Reading is the only activity I have right now which is pointed in that direction. And of course people watching & analysis, which is a constant. I have been feeling the need to write strongly since I’ve been alone, since Jay left. I can’t get started though, shoot down all my ideas before they get to my fingertips! I guess the need isn’t strong enough to overcome my self-doubt & fear of ridicule yet. Here ends volume I of my "memoirs", never thought I’d get this far!

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